he'll be itching all day

have you heard the one about the guy who killed his roommate because there was no toilet paper in the house?

Crow told investigators that the men were fighting about the toilet paper over the weekend when Matthews pulled out a rifle. Crow said he then began beating Matthews with the sledgehammer and claw hammer, according to an affidavit.

Matthews was beaten so badly he had to be identified through his fingerprints, detectives said.

i guess having an unclean cornhole can make a guy cranky. (insert rimshot here)