the cream of broccoli radio hour

Tony Wilson, 1950-2007

2007-08-13T12:14:00.000-04:00

sad news today, as it was reported that Tony Wilson, founder of Factory Records, died over the weekend.

we'll be doing a tribute to Factory and Tony Wilson on this weekend's show, so tune in.

TV: Top Chef--Can I get a piece of that? (Spoilers)

2007-08-09T12:23:00.000-04:00

one of the other shows my wife and i are addicted to is Top Chef. we both love to cook and i think this show is nice because you can see some really creative chefs looking to break out.

anyway, we were very much looking forward to last night's show, because they were obviously going to screw with the contestants by telling them they were going to enjoy the Miami nightlife, only to find out they would be cooking for a bunch of drunken assholes outside a trendy night spot while fellow contestant Dale got a free pass for making a gourmet peach cobbler topping for ice cream.

when all was said and done last night i think the judges made the right decision on both ends. Judge Ted Allen was absolutely right--if you want to please someone, use bacon (even though my doctor has told me to lay off the salty stuff) and i felt that they were right in dismissing Sara, because she pretty much quit the moment she found out that she had to cook dressed in her "club clothes." (boo hoo.)

a question for Sara and Casey however--you are on a reality TV show about cooking--how could you not see this elimination challenge coming from a mile away?

TV: Last Comic Standing--Jon Reep isn't funny (Spoilers!)

2007-08-09T12:12:00.000-04:00

so last night my wife and i watched one of our "essential" summer viewing shows--Last Comic Standing.

first question--when is this comedy show going to show actual comedy?

i have to say i've been disappointed with this show since they've gone to the final 10. unfortunately, given that the obviously funnier Matt Kirshen barely beat out Deborah DiGiovanni to win the head to head challenge, I am pretty sure NBC has figured out to go with the unfunny shit that appeals to most Americans.

case in point--fellow Last Comic contestant Amy Schumer was shown helping Matt out with his set (proving once again that mousy British men can get any girl to sleep with them thanks to their accents) and was saying that she was afraid that Matt's set would be "too cerebral" for an American audience. So Matt goes out there, delivers a funny set that has a broad appeal, and even takes one of Deborah's own jokes and twists it into his own, and yet he barely beats her?

obviously, America needs to get their collective heads out of their collective asses to figure out what funny is. It wasn't Dante, and it sure as hell isn't Jon Reep, who i feel got lucky during the Medieval Jester contest (the way some of those comics bombed, I felt bad for Doug Benson, who had funny material, but went up against a stronger Lavell Crawford, who killed with a joke about being black, as opposed to being fat, which is basically what all of his jokes are about.)

of course, this show is plagued by the fact that no one can swear (although Amy seems to have an abundance of "I'm a slut jokes') and that we probably can't see their best material because of it.

this would probably be a great show on pay cable...

backhanded compliment

2007-08-09T12:07:00.000-04:00

hey guys, if a girl tells you you're hung like a panda bear, they aren't being kind:

"The penis of an adult panda is only about 3 centimeters (1.2 inches) long," Xinhua quoted Li Deshen, a panda expert, as saying, as a possible reason for the mix-up. (from cnn.com)

i guess you learn something new every day.

why has crime increased in Cleveland?

2007-08-09T12:04:00.001-04:00

according to mayor Frank Jackson, it's because there isn't enough coke to go around...

and in more of a sort of comedy of errors vein...

2007-08-01T23:25:00.000-04:00

i own a water cooler. a water cooler that holds a five gallon jug and has a refrigeration unit in it, kind of like you would see in your office or at the doctors.

unfortunately for me, i also have a 20 month old son who knows how to get the water to come out of the water cooler and how to make an indiscriminate puddle from this cooler. so we added one of those hot water valves that you have to lock into place before it will pour the water.

tonight the valve broke off, so now, no one can get water out of it. and the culligan guy won't be here until next week.

fortunately i used some good old fashioned ingenuity to jam a fork tine into the space where the small plastic bit that broke off the valve used to fit, and by lifting up on the fork, i can get water to come out.

TV: Last Comic Standing--Dante isn't funny

2007-08-01T23:17:00.001-04:00

so i have to admit that watching tonight's Last comic standing i was happy to see Dante and Ralph Harris end up in the showdown--neither of them have been particularly funny so far this season and Dante got into the final 32 by using the most hackneyed, clichéd premise ever--a Jack Nicholson impression as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, so i was glad to see Dante's ass kicked to the curb. too bad Gena Yashere's drunk Frenchwoman having her face eaten by a dog bit couldn't outdo Ralph's stream of consciousness kid cursing out his uncle bit which is strangely reminiscent of Steve Harvey in the Original Kings of Comedy. but i'd say that people having their faces eaten by dogs isn't going to fly with the same American audience that thought Dante was funny to begin with.

can't wait to see how they all do at the renaissance fair next week...

i wish i had a bigger office...

2007-08-01T12:46:00.000-04:00

i want an office like the one Don Draper (Jon Hamm) has on the AMC series, Mad Men. it's the size of a small house, has a chair, a table, a sofa and a full service bar so he can serve fucking highballs to his boss.

one can dream while living in the cube farm.

well it's gotta be better than abstinence only sex-ed...

2007-07-30T12:13:00.000-04:00

did you know that planned parenthood once put out a mini-comic featuring Spider-Man battling a villain who tried to encourage kids to have unprotected sex so that his alien race could harvest the babies?

it's almost as cool as the time Spidey prevented a gang-rape with cupcakes!

Ingmar Bergman (1918-2007)

2007-07-30T12:07:00.000-04:00

i was really sad to hear that the great Swedish director Ingmar Bergman passed away today at 89. Bergman made some phenomenal films, including two of my favorites--The Seventh Seal and Wild Strawberries (both made in 1957.) Also, he was good for inspiring some other great directors, including Woody Allen, who has a great diatribe about Bergman in Annie Hall (1977.)

hopefully, in the sweet hereafter, he's giving Death a run for his money in a game of chess.

my arch-nemesis

2007-07-29T10:56:00.000-04:00

if you own a cat, why do you let it wander the neighborhood and puke and shit on someone else's porch? isn't the idea of owning a pet that it hangs out with you, on YOUR property and leaves me the hell alone?

why come back?

2007-07-27T22:05:00.000-04:00

well i figured i need some web presence for my radio show, and i like to shoot my mouth off. so i went all lame ass on everyone and started a myspace account for the show and tried to add my favorite bands as friends. then i decided to ressurect my lame-ass blog that no one reads anyway.

i like listening to crickets.

boo hoo, me

2007-07-27T22:04:00.000-04:00

so i am sad that this week is the san diego comic con and here i am , stuck in ohio, with a 20 month old and a mortgage.

sometimes it sucks balls to be an adult.

yeah, i'm back

2007-07-27T21:59:00.001-04:00

so i got busy. and i didn't have anything interesting to say (did i ever?)

ACTION NEWS!

2007-07-27T21:55:00.000-04:00

gotta love when those reporting the news become the story

this attitude of "you saw it first on channel 8" is getting ridiculous. but this sort of journalistic pornography definitely sells.

since when are we at war with Mexico?

2006-05-15T12:13:00.000-04:00

so, if he hadn't done so before, the president has totally lost it.

there are reports that Bush is going to give a speech tonight and announce that he is sending troops to the US-Mexican border to secure it.

apparently those racist assholes, the Minutemen, aren't getting the job done, or building fences fast enough, etc.

and why does Bush always pick the middle of sweeps to have these speeches? does he really want to piss off everyone who caught the first part of the Gray's Anatomy season finale (my wife is one of those people, but she's part of the 70% who disapprove of the job the President is doing)

it won't matter to me...hopefully i will be watching Lebron James make Rasheed Wallace look like an asshole... (Ias if 'Sheed didn't do a good enough job of that himself.)

i'm sure this guy's mom is proud

2006-05-11T12:08:00.000-04:00

okay, so someone with way too much time on his hands is suing the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim for denying him a tote bag that was given to women over 18 last year as part of a Mother's Day promotion.

now that this is making national news, i'm sure this guy's mom is glad she gave birth to the miserable bastard.

and we're back...

2006-05-11T12:07:00.000-04:00

okay, so April was a wash. and part of May. but i feel like running my mouth again, so here we go.

mother of the year!

2006-04-12T12:33:00.000-04:00

one nice thing about celebrity...when you fuck up, it's hard to avoid being exposed for it.

take yesterday's news, Britney Spears. first she gets shit for driving around without having her kid in a car seat (a big no no) and then her nanny goes and drops the kid on his head!

maybe sculptor Daniel Edwards should have picked a better model for his pro-life statue...that kid will be dead within six months at this rate.

(and if anyone would like to see the side of that statue that didn't make the rounds, you know, the one with the head crowning, utter a small prayer and click here. not for the faint of heart or stomach.)

little miracles (or not)

2006-04-12T12:28:00.000-04:00

so have you heard the one about the sleazy couple who pretended to have sextuplets so they could get people to give them handouts?

GRAIN VALLEY, Mo. - The library books on multiple births crowded the couple's coffee table. The bedroom-turned-nursery awaited the arrival of six newborns.
But in the end, authorities say Sarah and Kris Everson never had the sextuplets as claimed. All they had was what appears to be a big lie.

The couple's dramatic story had holes in it from the start — from their mysterious withholding of information for more than a month to the unanimous response of area hospitals that they hadn't helped deliver the newborns.

On Tuesday, authorities said the mystery had been solved — the entire tale was deemed a hoax aimed at tapping the generosity of others to pay the couple's mounting bills.

of course, these con artists are totally misunderstood:

Reached by phone late Tuesday, Sarah Everson offered no explanation. "I'm not talking to anybody right now," she said, "because nobody gets it."

hmmm....made up a bullshit lie to prey upon people's generosity...

...nope. sounds pretty straightforward to me.

the funny things people say when they are on drugs

2006-04-12T12:23:00.000-04:00

my wife was prescribed percoset after her surgery last week. after we got home and she had taken her medication and was still a little woozy from the surgery, she asked me:

"do you think Mickey Mouse is a pussy because he doesn't wear a shirt and has buttons on his pants?"

how do you answer that question?

where ya been?

2006-04-12T12:21:00.000-04:00

okay, so it's been a while. my wife was having surgery last week and with the Cleveland Indians getting off to a 6-1 start, there's been little time for blogging.

i love to write, but i'd rather hang out with my wife and son, if you don't mind.

see you later asshole!

2006-04-04T13:02:00.000-04:00

so the news has come down that self-serving, corrupt, politician and overall prick Tom Delay is resigning from his house seat and not seeking re-election:

DeLay said he is stepping down because he wanted the race in his Houston-area district to focus on the issues people care about -- "not a campaign focused solely as a referendum on me."

don't let Tom fool you though--he's less interested in the campaign and more on making sure he isn't someone's bitch in the federal pokey for the next twenty to twenty-five years.

couldn't happen to a nicer guy.

movie of the day: Good Night, and Good Luck (2005)

2006-04-04T12:44:00.000-04:00

when i was an English student at Bowling Green State University, i was never much for allegory. to me, allegory was too direct in its methods, leaving little to the imagination and revealing itself as the pontification it so often comes across as.

if there were such a thing as a neutral point of view, i would probably have a disdain for Good Night, and Good Luck, as it is an obvious allegory of contemporary media coverage, cast in the historical context of the McCarthy hearings during the mid-50s.

but i don't have a neutral point of view.

the fact of the matter is that with the Bush administration's attempts to cast everything in terms of black and white (if you're not with us, you're with the terrorists, etc.) Good Night, and Good Luck is an important allegory to consider. the McCarthy hearings destroyed people both figuratively and literally (the film covers the suicide of a Murrow associate, Don Hollenbeck, who killed himself after being crucified by a columnist for the Hearst syndicate of newspapers) and the obvious message here is that those who do not learn from the past are doomed to repeat it.

the parallels between the McCarthy hearings and the rhetoric of the Bush administration are frighteningly congruous. McCarthy, like his modern day counterparts, would always attempt to bring the argument back on itself, often engaging in ad hominem attacks on his critics because it was obvious that his arguments didn't hold water. McCarthy made a mistake in attacking Murrow, who was respected by the American public for his coverage of World War II.

the one element that we find that Good Night, and Good Luck has not parallelled is Murrow himself. Murrow's politics did not make him confront McCarthy's witch hunts, but instead he was compelled by a need to do what he felt was right. as he explains to Sig Mickelson early in the film, there is no such thing as a neutral view point, that all news is editorializing to some degree. the problem is that today we lack a newsperson of Murrow's character. no one will step up and question this administration and do what is right.

the most amazing element of the film is that director George Clooney made a conscious decision to only use Joe McCarthy's actual televised appearances and hearings instead of casting an actor to play McCarthy. this is, of course, the most effective method of showing the fervor and lunacy of McCarthy's witch hunt, and it seems that it may be just as easy to slip Bush, Cheney, McClellan, Rumsfeld, Rice and all of the other zealots in there without ruining a thing. and that's a frightening thought. Five Stars (out of Five)

Torquemada's textbook

2006-03-30T12:59:00.000-05:00

it seems that the Office for Standards in Education in Britain is making Michael Palin's book Himalaya required reading for British high school students in their geography.

i can't think of a better choice really. Palin has been travelling the world for the last twenty plus years and making films and writing about it. he's definitely a subject matter expert (and funny as hell to boot.)

and this may be a boring post, but i just couldn't bring myself to talk about the Britney Spears giving "doggie-style" birth pro-life statue.

while we're talking about Mates of State...

2006-03-30T12:51:00.000-05:00

...i'll be giving away two tickets to their Cleveland show on April 9th on this Sunday's Cream of Broccoli Radio Hour. i'll even tell you how we're going to do it--between 11 and noon, i'll be playing the song "Punchlines" of their new record Bring It Back. the first caller gets the tickets. don't worry--if you're a Mates of State fan, you'll know the song when you hear it.

essential record of the day: Mates of State--Bring It Back (2006)

2006-03-30T12:28:00.000-05:00

i don't know how Mates of State keeps doing it.

when i heard their debut record, My Solo Project, for the first time back in 2001, i was amazed by their originality and energy. i immediately became addicted to the record and it remains one of my favorites.

the problem with a band that is basically a electric piano-drum combo is that there is always a possibility that the music will grow stale. i mean how many times can you flog a one-trick pony before you end up with a dead horse?

of course to say that Mates of State are a one-trick pony is to tragically underestimate them. Kori Gardner and Jason Hammel are accomplished musicians with a real penchant for coming up with catchy pop hooks. it is this consistency that allows Mates of State to transcend the apparent limitations of their choices of instrument.

that brings us to their latest record, Bring It Back. one would expect that after three full length LPs and an EP, Mates of State wouldn't have anything new to say. but once again they surprise us. not only do they deliver a successful record, but they may have delivered the best Mates of State record to date.

usually at this point i tell you what tracks stand out, but it is impossible with this record. all of the tracks stand out. the ideas and themes are so varied and yet are unified by Kori and Jason's steadfast allegiance to the keyboard and drums that they have become known for. It's when a band can accomplish this seemingly paradoxical state of variance and unity that the best records are often made.

and so it is with Mates of State. they have managed to keep going despite their self-imposed limitations and consistently produce great records. it just goes to show that the artist isn't limited by their tools, just by themselves. and Mates of State want the world.

right now, this is definitely THE record of 2006. Grade: A+

i think there is a special place in hell for this ABC exec

2006-03-28T17:12:00.000-05:00

the good people at thesmokinggun.com have posted an internal memo from an ABC executive to local affiliates asking for them to be on the lookout for hard luck stories for Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. in the memo, the casting director has a laundry list of afflictions a family might be suffering from that will make for really good television, including cancer, ALS (Lou Gerhig's disease) and Progeria (premature aging in a child, which the casting director describes as "the little old man disease") among others. she also excitedly is looking for a child suffering from CIPA (which is an insensitivity to pain) realizing that the potential pool is limited.

if you want to be sickened by the exploitation of these families for network profits, definitely check out the link above.

celebrity morgue report

2006-03-28T12:54:00.000-05:00

i missed a death in my celebrity morgue report, but then some more famous people had to up and die, so i've got another one for you all:

Richard Fleischer, 89, Hollywood director and son of Max Fleischer, who directed the original Popeye and Superman shorts in the 40s for Paramount.
Caspar Weinberger, 88, Secretary of Defense under Ronald Reagan. had a chance to stop Iran-Contra and didn't.
Dan Curtis, 78, the guy who created Dark Shadows. i never understood what the big deal was, but then again i'm not a goth freak.

movie of the day: A History of Violence (2005)

2006-03-28T12:08:00.000-05:00

while i know that David Cronenberg didn't come up with the title of his latest film, A History of Violence, you have to wonder about the title. what exactly is implied by "a history of violence?" are we supposed to recall the old saying that those who do not learn from the past are doomed to repeat it, or is it something else?

that was the question i posed myself when watching A History of Violence. since i was sitting down to watch a Cronenberg film, i knew that there was deeper meaning in that phrase. and since it was a Cronenberg film, i was prepared for a total mind-fuck along the way.

the premise of A History of Violence is pretty simple. Tom Stall is a family man in a small town who owns his own diner. one night, two homicidal maniacs try to rob the diner and rape one of the waitresses. in self-defense, Tom kills them and becomes a national celebrity. soon, shady figures appear in town and mistake Tom for someone named Joey. Tom claims that he has no clue who they are talking about, but these sinister figures are adamant about Tom's identity and there are bloody consequences.

let's get one thing out of the way here--Cronenberg is a master of suspense, and A History of Violence is no different than his other films. even though logic tells you that if a man has his eye taken out by a barbed wire attack, he will never forget the face of his attacker, i couldn't figure out if Tom Stall was really the sociopathic killer Joey Cusack, or if he was a victim of horrible mistaken identity. that is all Cronenberg's doing--he holds it all back until there is a essential moment where there is no turning back. and in that regard, this film is successful, as it had me on the edge of my seat for almost the whole film.

in addition, Cronenberg makes us stand on shaky moral ground. at first glance, it seems that Tom is justified in killing the two men who try to rob his diner. but if he is also Joey Cusack, then his actions begin to fall in a gray area--yes he did the right thing...but would someone without a history of violence been able to do the same?

however, this is as deep as the movie goes. there is an interesting sub-plot involving Tom's son, Jack, who is constantly picked on by a bully at school. Jack's initial attempts to deal with the bully are non-violent, but eventually he reaches a breaking point and puts the bully in the hospital with a severe beating. Cronenberg uses this as a setup for a devastating line Jack delivers to Tom later in the movie, but it could have been so much more. i found myself wondering how Jack would have reacted to the bully if he had known his father's history of violence. but alas, that is never explored.

none of Tom's family has their motivations for dealing with Tom's history of violence explored. it's the one great weakness of the film. but if all you are looking for is a suspenseful film, this is the movie for you. Four Stars (out of Five)

while we're talking about Rose Melberg...

2006-03-27T12:51:00.000-05:00

she has a new record (the first in FIVE years) coming out next month on the Double Agent Records label (the good folks that brought us My Favorite among others.)

for more information, i strongly recommend you go check out doubleagentrecords.com and listen to the Cream of Broccoli Radio Hour in the coming weeks--DA has been good about getting us promos of their records, and this is a biggie.

we're big fans of Rose and the Softies around here. now if her partner in crime Jen Sbragia and the girls of the All Girl Summer Fun Band could get a new record out, 2006 could really shape up to be a great year for records...

celebrity morgue report

2006-03-27T12:38:00.000-05:00

in addition to Buck Owens, here are some other recent celebrity deaths:

Stanislaw Lem, writer of Solaris, at age 84.
Paul Dana, IRL racer, of injuries sustained in a car crash during a practice run. He was 30.
Nikki Sudden, of the band Swell Maps at age 49. ironically, Jowe Head (bassist of Swell Maps and drummer of Television Personalities) compiled a Swell Maps collection that will be released in May.

Buck Owens (1929-2006)

2006-03-27T12:19:00.000-05:00

There's a giant doing cartwheels, a statue wearin' high heels.
Look at all the happy creatures dancing on the lawn.
A dinosaur Victrola
listening to Buck Owens.
Doo, doo, doo, Lookin' out my back door.

--"Lookin' Out My Back Door" by Creedence Clearwater Revival

Country singer and former Hee Haw host, Buck Owens died this past weekend at age 76. while he was no Johnny Cash or Jimmie Rodgers or the Carter Family, Owens was a country great, and played country music the way it was intended to be played, not the soulless pop-country crap that is being peddled today.

i must admit that i am only slightly familiar with Owens' work. but as you can see from the CCR lyrics above, he was highly influential. of course, i've heard Ringo Starr on Help! singing Owens' "Act Naturally," but those in the indie rock community might be familiar with Rose Melberg's version of "Loose Talk" which she credited to being inspired by "the Buck Owens" version in the liner notes of her record Portola.

losing Owens is just closing of another chapter in the book on the rich history of country music. having become a fan of older country music in recent years, it's sad to lose someone who embodied what the true soul of country music is all about.

EXTERMINATE!

2006-03-24T12:43:00.000-05:00

i would have mentioned this last Friday, but i was off watching basketball and didn't have time. For those of you who don't know, the Sci-Fi channel has replaced Battlestar Galactica on their schedule with the new Doctor Who series that was broadcast on the BBC last year. while the ratings weren't as good as what Battlestar was getting, they're good enough, given that Battlestar won't be back until October.

things i like about the new series--better special effects while still remaining true to the spirit of the original show. while the first episode of the new series "Rose," features a new take on the Autons from the third Doctor serials "A Spearhead From Space" and "Terror of the Autons" (and i'd say these are the best Autons yet), the second story, "The End of the World" is probably one of the stronger Doctor Who stories i've seen (it's re-airing tonight at 8pm.) Also, the new writers have made it easy to come into the show without knowing the backstory (although I am hoping the fifth or seventh Doctors make an appearance sometime soon.)

anyway, i would give the Doctor a chance if you have some free time tonight. we've been fans of Doctor Who since 1985 around these parts, so it's great to see the new episodes on American television. it's been too damned long.

murder in the cathedral

2006-03-24T12:28:00.000-05:00

okay, i guess i'm a little more overtly political today than most, but i couldn't skip over the continuing saga of Winkler murder in Tennessee. for those who don't know, a preacher named Matthew Winkler was found dead in his home, shot in the back and his wife and children missing. they were then found in Alabama, and the wife is being charged with murder.

everyone interviewed for the story has had nothing but glowing things to say about the minister and his wife:

Selmer residents said they were shocked at the preacher's death.
"I can't believe this would happen," Pam Killingsworth, a church member and assistant principal at Selmer Elementary, told The Associated Press.
"The kids are just precious, and she was precious," Killingsworth said. "He was the one of the best ministers we've ever had -- just super charisma."
Wilburn Ash, an elder at the Fourth Street Church, said Winkler was hired there in February 2005, according to the AP. He preached straight-by-the-Bible sermons, the AP reported, delighting congregants.
Church members described Mary Winkler as a quiet, unassuming woman, the AP reported. She was a substitute teacher at the elementary school.
"They were a nice family," former Selmer Mayor Jimmy Whittington, who worked with the preacher collecting donations for hurricane victims last year, told the AP. "They just blended in."

since the preacher did "straight-by-the-Bible" sermons, i'm going to assume that he was a fairly literalist, conservative minister.

anyone want to put down bets on when the allegations of spousal abuse rear their ugly heads? usually when all people have to say is nice things, there's a seamy underbelly waiting to be exposed.

a real big coon

2006-03-24T12:18:00.000-05:00

i was going to post about this yesterday, but i had been looking for an audio clip of St. Louis radio personality Dave Lenihan calling Condaleeza Rice "a real big coon" on his radio show Wednesday. unfortunately i couldn't find it, but i was amused what excuse black Conservative talk show host Larry Elder gave for Lenihan saying it:

Elder told The Associated Press that he suspects Lenihan morphed the words "coup" and "boon" to come up with "coon." He said prominent blacks have made disparaging remarks about Rice and gotten away with it, and feels Lenihan's firing was unfounded.

i'd say it's probably more likely that Lenihan has a deep seeded prejudice against African-Americans and the whole time his subconscious was probably saying "don't say coon, don't say coon" which is precisely what he said.

i think Linehan probably didn't mean to say that about Rice--after all, she's not an uppity black and has fallen in line. she may look African-American, but her ideology is 100% white conservative male.

essential record of the day: Neutral Milk Hotel--In the Aeroplane Over the Sea (1998)

2006-03-22T12:44:00.000-05:00

my wife bought a copy of On Avery Island, the debut record from Neutral Milk Hotel because Cool Chick 59, who does a show at WCSB here in Cleveland told her it was a good record.

she hated it.

oh, had only Cool Chick 59 told my wife to buy In the Aeroplane Over the Sea, the second (and final?) record from the slightly damaged genius, Jeff Mangum and his band of merry men. from the initial moments of the opening track "The King of Carrot Flowers, pt. 1" to the reprise of "Two Headed Boy pt. 2" Neutral Milk Hotel takes us on such a colorful and varied trip that somehow manages to keep some unifying theme underneath it all.

Every track on In the Aeroplane Over the Sea is brilliant. Mangum provides listeners with challenging and frankly disturbing images lyrically while setting it all to a poppy, rainbow-like sountrack. the final product is marvellously rendered and would explain why everyone has been anxiously awaiting the next Neutral Milk Hotel record. like Waiting for Godot, however, it never seems to come.

and is that necessarily a bad thing? Mangum has produced a masterpiece here and it will be almost impossible for him to trump it. i understand that people thirst to hear or see more of an artist that has impressed them, but sometimes an artist captures a moment and produces something so unforgettable that it becomes revered...and reviled.

that's the problem--people who are into music think they are doing people like my wife a favor when they don't recommend an artist's best work. i remember at a meet and greet with Henry Rollins back in the 90s after he had done his spoken word act at BGSU, i asked him what Coltrane record a novice like myself should check out. He told me to listen to Crescent, because everybody had heard A Love Supreme. but that was the problem--I hadn't. and now, years later, i will tell anyone who asks me to start with Coltrane that they need to start with A Love Supreme, because nothing he did was better.

so too with Neutral Milk Hotel. i think that if i could get my wife to forget On Avery Island, she would like In the Aeroplane Over the Sea. Grade: A+

Billy Joel musical only employs members of the IBTC

2006-03-22T12:37:00.000-05:00

a dancer is suing the owners and producers of the Broadway ~~waste of time~~ show Movin' Out, which features the songs of Billy Joel and the choreography of Twyla Tharp, for emotional abuse and wrongful termination after her breasts grew too large for her costume:

Her suit, which names Tharp among the defendants, lists a whole catalog of charges including wrongful termination, breach of contract, defamation, sexual harassment and intentional infliction of emotional distress.
It was filed on Monday in Miami-Dade Circuit Court. Alyse's lawyer, Larry Klayman, said the "main perpetrator" of the alleged abuse heaped on the young dancer was Eric Sprosty, a stage manager. Klayman said Sprosty flew into a rage after learning of Alyse's changing breast size.

"She was in fear of bodily injury," Klayman said.

ah, but then we get to the real motivation behind all of this:

He said the more than $100 million suit was "based on actual and compensatory damages" in the case, but he also said "Movin' Out" was "a very lucrative show" and a "cash cow for Broadway."

which of course she's entitled to, because she was one of the dancers on the touring company of the show.

lawyers rule.

movie of the day: Walk the Line (2005)

2006-03-22T12:13:00.000-05:00

let's get one thing out of the way, before we start this review.

i love Johnny Cash.

Johnny Cash, to me, was an American icon whose songs transcended labels. most people think of him as a "country singer" but to call Cash a country singer is to downplay how influential he was on country, folk and rock 'n' roll.

now that we've dealt with the accolades, let's talk about Jame's Mangold homage to Cash--Walk the Line. if i wanted to sum it up in one sentence, this would suffice:

it's Ray with white people.

now i don't mean to discount Cash's life story, but the when it comes down to it, the "rock star" story has become an American cliche. we see the star make it, we see the star get addicted to drugs (Ray Charles liked heroin, Cash loved speed), we see the star clean up. we see the star fight with record label execs and show that their artistic intention is much more successful than what those stupid execs would have wanted to happen. we see how their personal tragedy helps mold them as individuals (here's another place where the two movies are eerily similar--both had dead brothers that they blamed themselves for.) and when the similarities are that great, you have to ask "what is the point?"

sure there are things about Walk the Line that we don't see in Ray--namely the relationship between Cash and June Carter, the love of his life. but in the process we also see how Cash neglects his first wife and children in the process--something that i didn't know how quite to take other than to question why June Carter would hook up with Johnny after seeing him do that to someone else.

in the end, the movie is good, it has great performances (especially from Reese Witherspoon, who seems to excel in every role she plays) and is probably worth your time. but i don't know how many more of these rock 'n' roll legend biopics i can take. Four Stars (out of Five)

hello moto!

2006-03-20T12:44:00.000-05:00

you all may remember the story i posted about Miss Deaf Texas, who was killed while walking next to some train tracks. i positted at the time that it may have not been the best of ideas for a deaf girl to walk by train tracks.

well it turns out that she was not only walking by train tracks, but she was text messaging at the time as well:

McAvoy was walking northbound along the railroad ties, with her back to the train as it approached, said Austin Police Department detective David Fugitt. "We have information that she was text-messaging family and friends" at the time, he added.
A horn sounded, but "they weren't able to get a response" from her, Fugitt said.
"At that point, they activated their emergency braking system, but they weren't able to stop in time."
A snowplow -- commonly referred to as "cattle-guards" for pushing items away from the tracks to avoid train damage -- was what struck McAvoy, who was estimated to be "no more than a foot" from the tracks, Fugitt said.
"The snowplow extends approximately 16 inches on each side from the train," he said, and was mounted to the front engine of the train.
McAvoy died at the scene from "multiple traumatic injuries," Fugitt said.

movie of the day--V for Vendetta (2006)

2006-03-19T09:31:00.000-05:00

one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter.

that's something i fundamentally believe in. when 9/11 happened, you didn't see many people talking about what got us there. how the Reagan administration spent US tax dollars on training the group that eventually became Al Qaeda. how the first Bush administration pissed off that same group by putting US air bases on what they considered to be holy land. how they already had something against the United States because of the US policies toward Israel and the Middle East in general. and because no one talked about what got us to 9/11, no one blinked an eye when legislation like the U.S.A. P.A.T.R.I.O.T. Act was passed.

which brings us to V for Vendetta, the adaptation of the Alan Moore comic by the Wachowski Brothers. it embodies my belief that one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter, and that terrorism is not just the purview of the shadowy anti-establishment group, but of the government as well. throughout the film, a series of terrorist acts are perpetrated and exposed, and everyone has blood on their hands. through V's actions, one of the upper echelon of "the Party" (the fascist government in charge of Britain in this distopian future) begins to question the event that lead to "the Party" taking power. V has a personal stake in his actions as well, which makes you question his overall motives.

In Roger Ebert's review of V for Vendetta he complained that the movie was too complex--"a audacious confusion of ideas" but isn't that the point really? one man's terrorist is always another man's freedom fighter. those that allowed "the Party" to take power will find V's actions abhorrent. those who feel persecuted by the party will side with V, who explains that sometimes violence is a necessary means to an end. the problem is that both sides want you to believe the issues are black and white, that there is only a yes or no answer. only when it is too late does V realize that there are always shades of gray. but by the time he has made the realization, he is in too far, too deep.

I think that V's justification for his actions is that "the Party" through actions both direct and indirect created him, and the blood he spills is ultimately on his hands. i think that is the lesson we haven't learned from 9/11, and now with excursions into Iraq and posturing with Iran and Korea, we are creating tomorrow's terrorists/freedom fighters, and the blood will be on our hands as well. Five Stars (out of Five)

it's like Christmas around here...

2006-03-15T12:59:00.000-05:00

okay, the NCAA basketball national championship tournament starts tomorrow and i just completed my online brackets. if i win, i will have 2 big screen TVs and $50000 in cash. (don't count on it.)

anyway, it will be limited blogging until the weekend. so here's my picks for the Final Four:

Connecticut
Duke
UCLA
Boston College

I have UCLA and Connecticut in the national title game, with UConn taking it all.

all right i might be back with a record review later. we'll see.

this guy is one of the biggest assholes in America

2006-03-15T12:53:00.000-05:00

this man's name is Matt Dubay. he's an asshole. how do i know this? because he has filed a lawsuit to get out having to pay his child support for his daughter because he didn't want to be a father.

you know, call me old fashioned, but maybe if you don't want to be a father you should think before you stick your dick in someone. maybe, you can make a trip to the drugstore and get some condoms so that pregnancy doesn't become a reality.

this story makes me sick. this dickhead doesn't want to have to support his daughter even though he was irresponsible and was partially the cause. the group backing him up on this lawsuit call their suit "Roe v. Wade for men." i call it "parade of the assholes who don't live up to their responsibilities."

and bag the claim that his ex told him she couldn't get pregnant. that excuse is as lame as "the dog ate my homework." he didn't have to fuck her without birth control. nobody held a gun to his head. prick.

celebrity morgue report

2006-03-14T12:52:00.000-05:00

Man! two celebrity morgue reports in two days! famous people are getting down to some serious dying!

Maureen Stapleton, of chronic pulmonary disease. She was an Oscar winning actress who starred in Reds and the Cocoon films, among others.
Peter Tomarkin, in a plane crash. He was the host of the 80s game show Press Your Luck (no jokes about how he got a whammy, etc.)
Chef, from South Park. Isaac Hayes is apparently pissed that Matt and Trey made fun of Scientology on South Park (Hayes is a ~~sucker~~ Scientologist), so he decided to quit the show, although as the South Park creators point out: "In ten years and over 150 episodes of 'South Park,' Isaac never had a problem with the show making fun of Christians, Muslim, Mormons or Jews."

i'm sure i am going to hell for this post

2006-03-14T12:43:00.000-05:00

cnn.com has a story up about how the reigning "Miss Deaf Texas" was struck by a train yesterday and killed:

Tara Rose McAvoy, 18, was walking Monday near railroad tracks when she was struck by a Union Pacific train, authorities said.
A witness told Austin television station KTBC the train sounded its horn right up until the accident occurred.

the article then goes on to say that McAvoy had been deaf since birth.

silly question--if you can't hear, isn't it a bad idea to walk on railroad tracks?

record of the day: Casiotone for the Painfully Alone--Etiquette (2006)

2006-03-13T17:03:00.000-05:00

i really wish i could love this record.

but, alas, i can’t. the problem, as i see it, with Owen Ashworth’s Casiotone for the Painfully Alone is that he’s not quite sure what he wants his “band” to be. when listening to Etiquette, all of the elements are there—the pop hooks, the engaging lyrics, but his tone changes from track to track.

One minute Ashworth thinks he’s Stephin Merritt, the next Tom Waits, doing neither all that well. and that’s when he bothers to lay down the vocal track. a quarter of the record features guest vocalists (Dear Nora’s Katy Davidson sings lead on the brilliant “Holly Hobby” among the numerous guest appearances) and that’s only if you don’t count the throw-away track at the beginning of the record that reminds you what record you are listening to, as if you didn’t just put it in the CD player.

in the end, what should be a solid 30 minute pop record becomes a bit of a chore. the middle is solid, but the beginning and end are unfocused and at times downright schizophrenic—and not in a good Syd Barrett kind of way. Grade: B-

can't figure out the goddamned bracket...

2006-03-13T12:55:00.000-05:00

we're big college basketball fans around here at the Cream of Broccoli Radio Hour and this week is like Christmas for us. but we've just spent the last half an hour trying to figure out the bracket and are having no luck, even though the wife will tell you we watched too much college basketball this season. all i know is this:

Air Force doesn't belong. Expect them to get run out of the building by Illinois.
It looks like there might not be a 12 over a 5 stunner this year, but if i had to put money on it, take Texas A&M over Syracuse. i don't think the Orange are going to have anything in the tank after this past week, and giving them a 5 seed is generous at best.
the selection committee is smoking crack if they think including Air Force and Utah State made more sense than having Cincinnati or Michigan in the tournament (and i HATE Michigan.) Even Hofstra--at least they managed to beat someone this year.
Expect me to crumple up my bracket and throw it away after the first half day of games...i guarantee the games will fall in a way that will fuck it up for me.

celebrity morgue report

2006-03-13T12:34:00.000-05:00

more dead famous people to report from the last week:

Gordon Parks, 93, from cancer. He directed the immortal blaxksploitation film, Shaft.
Bernie "Boom Boom" Geoffrion, 75, from stomach cancer. Considered one of the first players in the NHL to use the slap shot, which is ubiquitous today. The Canadiens also retired his jersey the day he died.

and a special goodbye to war criminal and overall asshole Slobodan Milošević, who died over the weekend of a heart attack, although now it looks like he may have died because of some drugs he wasn't supposed to be taking. whatever, the world is a better place without genocidal maniacs like him, and hopefully he has a special place reserved in hell for him.

NEWFLASH: Irrelevant Punk Band Spurns Irrelevant "Museum"

2006-03-13T12:24:00.000-05:00

what a snub! the Sex Pistols refuse to go to the Rock 'N' Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremonies!

seriously, why does anyone care? the Sex Pistols haven't been relevant in almost thirty years, and the "Rock Hall" is a joke. i am probably the biggest "rock music" fan i know, and the Rock Hall is in the town i live in, and i refuse to go. you'll learn more about rock music by tuning into my radio show than by getting sucked in to that tourist trap.

let's all see the Rock Hall for what it is--a shitty tourist trap for business travellers that get stuck going to Cleveland for whatever reason. no one in their right mind would actually plan a trip to Cleveland to go there, and if they are, they're an idiot.

i love Cleveland, but we're no vacation destination (unless you're from somewhere worse, like Toledo or Dayton.)

live show of the day--Lewis Black at the Palace Theater, Cleveland, OH 3/12/06

2006-03-12T10:17:00.000-05:00

"the president has handlers? what is he--a bear?"

just one of the many nuggets of wisdom imparted by comedian Lewis Black to the packed house at the Palace Theater in Cleveland's Theater District (yes, we have one.)

let's get one thing about stand up acts that have made it big--there are always going to be a group of people who feel the need to scream a comedian's old bit back at them, like they are calling for the obligatory playing of "Freebird" at a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert. these people are beyond annoying. fortunately Lewis scored immediate points by telling one of these assholes who had screamed "wash your balls" (referring to an old bit) he responded by telling him "if you can smell them, it's you, not me." alas, the annoying cat calls from the gallery persisted.

here's the problem with a guy like Lewis Black. he pays the bills by making fun of the absurdity of politics. unfortunately, when you do that, you walk a fine line between comedy and ranting. i am sure at one point in his career Black had an act that was 100% funny...but last night he was 50-50 comedy to rant, and while most of the audience was big on drinking the kool-aid he was brewing, i came to laugh, and those seemed to be few and far between. that is not to say that Black's rants didn't skew toward hilarity, but as Black himself admitted "he can't make this stuff up."

i think if you asked Black, he probably wishes his audience didn't so fervently accept what he says when he comes out of his mouth--but people are lazy, and when they find that they have mentally connected with something someone says they don't need to think about anything they say ever again. and i think part of what killed the performance for me was the annoying audience. when i go to a comedy show, i want to hear new bits, not the stuff that i can watch on the Comedy Central Presents special that has been re-run 100 times.

and one final word about Lewis Black's opener, John Bowman. very funny, very irreverent (he made a joke about Natalee Holloway and "the poor douchebag that fell off the boat during his honeymoon" as well as telling the audience he was selling a calendar at the merch table that was called "the Adventures of Mohommad) but part of his act and his biggest laughs came from doing a Lewis Black impression. it's kind of a cheap laugh if you think about it, and is as cheap as the adulation a crowd gives when a comedian talks about a recent marriage or birth. his material was strong enough to stand on its own without having to pull out the cheap parlor tricks.

essential record of the day: Serge Gainsbourg--Histoire de Melody Nelson (1971)

2006-03-09T17:07:00.000-05:00

if the MPAA rated You and Me and Everyone We Know “R” for “disturbing sexual imagery involving children” i wonder what they would have done with Serge Gainsbourg’s Histoire de Melody Nelson. most famous in this country for telling Whitney Houston that he wanted to fuck her on French TV, Serge Gainsbourg was a dirty old man French version of Burt Bacharach. but unlike Bacharach, who has paid the bills with his unoffensive bubblegum song arrangements, Gainsbourg was constantly manipulating his sound as he absorbed new styles and influences, and no topic was off limits.

let’s face it, dirty old men falling in love (and doing other unsavory things) with “innocent” nubile girls is not a new concept in art. Nabokov’s Lolita scandalously covered the topic and was adapted into a movie by Stanley Kubrick. two recent films, Jim Jarmusch’s Broken Flowers and the aforementioned You and Me and Everyone We Know address the taboo as part of the plot. but Gainsbourg is so overt about his theme that the listener is sure to be taken aback by its directness, even if they don’t speak French. you can hear Gainsbourg’s voice dripping with sleaze while Jane Birkin (playing the role of the nymph Melody Nelson) sweetly sings along. you almost get the feeling that he is about to pounce like a vampire our for blood, especially with the funk influenced music playing in the background, a prototypical version of today’s cliched notion of incidental music for pornographic movies to be sure. this is not to say that Histoire is not one of the great musical expressions set to tape. it is. it just takes a while to get over the subject matter.

my friend Ryan once told me that he was floored by the fact that Bach’s love of Christ could inspire him to compose the Mass in B Minor. (i feel the same way about Coltrane’s A Love Supreme.) Serge Gainsbourg is proof that the Devil was also a muse for artists, and for every Mona Lisa, there’s going to be a stack of French porn. Grade: A+

the veal fattening pen

2006-03-09T17:03:00.000-05:00

cnn.com/fortune magazine has an article about how the inventor of the work cubicle thought his work was an abomination:

Robert Oppenheimer agonized over building the A-bomb. Alfred Nobel got queasy about creating dynamite. Robert Propst invented nothing so destructive. Yet before he died in 2000, he lamented his unwitting contribution to what he called "monolithic insanity."

as a cubicle dweller myself, i can’t help but think of the description of the cubicle as a “veal fattening pen” from Douglas Coupland’s Generation X.

moo.

movie of the day: Me and You and Everyone We Know (2005)

2006-03-09T12:17:00.000-05:00

the DVD for You and Me and Everyone We Know starts with the films rating, in bright blue, with the reasoning for its “R” rating:

For disturbing sexual imagery involving children

of course, this elicited a reaction from my wife:

“what the fuck sort of movie are we watching, anyway?”

of course, with the draconian way the MPAA rates films, it makes sense that they would describe the situation this way. heaven forbid that a child say something that is misconstrued in a sexual way by someone who doesn't even know that the speaker is a child. or that a teenager get a blow job from another teenager (because we know that never happens, right?) i'm surprised the MPAA just let this movie get away with an "R" rating.

but i'm getting off track.

at one point about half way through the movie, my wife said, "this is just like that movie where the kid says he's going to rape that girl after school." the movie she was referring to was Todd Solondz's Welcome to the Dollhouse.

i couldn't have made a more astute observation.

there were times when watching Miranda July's debut feature film that i thought of Solondz. her world is a world populated by nothing but outsiders, people trying to find a way to connect to the rest of the world and always seeming to fall short. and in those rare instances when a connection is made, it is excrutiatingly painful to watch.

like Solondz, July is willing to flirt with taboos to get her point across. take the six year old mentioned above in reference to the rating. at one point in the movie, he and his brother are playing around in chat rooms. they are passing the time being sent between one parent and another, neither of whom have any time for their kids. the older brother knows about the seedy underbelly of such a chat line and explains to his brother that the person messaging them is probably a man, and that they should make up some perversion to yank the chatter's chain. the six year old, having no concept of sexuality, suggests "pooping back and forth, forever" which i won't describe here. the chatter, however, is not a fake and find scatology arousing, which leads to a strange, but sweet encounter between the two later in the film where nothing sexual takes place.

now i realize that some people may be put off by what i just wrote, but let's face it, July's world is our own. when you look at July's characters, it's a bit like looking in a mirror--we are all outsiders and we are all looking to connect, and such connections can be painful before they can be good, and will always be painful to an extent. even the six year old's concept of pooping back and forth, forever is a connection of sorts--one can only assume that the person receiving the message on the other end is ultimately turned on by the fact that it will be a perpetual connection, no matter the horrific circumstances under which it occurs.

the world is not going to change the horrors that occur in it to jibe with our sensibilities. that's why horrors and pain happen. but there are good things too. when we make a connection that's worthwhile, we should cherish it. we should keep in mind that it's that way for you, and me, and everyone we know. Four Stars (out of Five)

why does Mary Worth exist?

2006-03-08T17:14:00.000-05:00

i was brewing a pot of coffee in the company kitchen today and saw that Mary Worth was still taking up (valuable?) real estate on the comics page of the Plain Dealer.

why does this comic even exist? you get two panels of completely banal conversation between cookie cutter characters. you would think that there would be some sort of cliff hanger from one day until the next, but no, it's totally dull. it's worse than reading a Henry James novel.

[if you want to see the comic in question with some hilarious commentary, check out this post from the Comics Curmudgeon. fucking brilliant!]

taking down the Oscar predictions

2006-03-08T17:06:00.000-05:00

okay, the 2006 Oscars have been given out, Hollywood has sucked it's own dick, and the Crash v. Brokeback Mountain debate has become totally ridiculous. so here's the links to all of my picks with asterisks next to the ones i got right:

we may do this again next year. i don't know.

celebrity morgue report

2006-03-07T12:52:00.000-05:00

we haven't had one of these in a while (because Don Knotts and Darren McGavin got their own posts) but there were some big celebrity deaths in the past few days:

Kirby Puckett, former center fielder of the Minnesota Twins. Kirby was one of my favorite players growing up, along with former San Francisco Giant, Will Clark.
Dana Reeve, widow of Christopher Reeve, of lung cancer. She was a big supporter of stem-cell research and she caught a horrible break, developing lung cancer, even though she had never smoked in her life.
Ali Farke Toure, called the "African John Lee Hooker." He was famous for playing a traditional Malian instrument called a gurkel.

more later. there's always more later.

record of the day: Test Icicles--For Screening Purposes Only (2006)

2006-03-07T12:35:00.000-05:00

can anyone really get a bead on the Test Icicles?

while doing a little research trying to write this review, i managed to learn that all within the span of two years, the Test Icicles came together, impressed people at shows, generated buzz, got caught in a bidding war for their services, signed with an indie, released one record, broke up and now have scheduled shows in the UK for April.

you don't know if they are coming or going.

but it's this sort of crazy feeling that underlies the entirety of For Screening Purposes Only, the Test Icicles debut (and final?) record.

From the opening track "Your Biggest Mistake" i thought i might be listening to a new Slint record, only to have further listening send you in another direction. "Catch It!" has a chaotic metal opening into an almost chant-like chorus with a driving drum machine beat. "Circle Square Triangle" sounds like a strange amalgamation of glam rock and dance music. and yet, somehow the record manages to stay focused and blends together quite well. in fact, it comes together so well that aside from one small miscue (a lame hidden track--one of the annoying parlor tricks of bands now that everything is on CD) it may as well be for the best that the Test Icicles have called it quits, because it's unlikely they'll be able to duplicate the energy and fervor that this record so obviously possesses. Grade: A- (deducted from an A for the lame hidden track--either you want it on the record or you don't. i don't need surprises.)

spare me your soapbox, Motion Picture Academy

2006-03-06T17:09:00.000-05:00

while i thought Jon Stewart was quite hilarious last night, what was not hilarious, or even funny was the insulting way that different performers throughout the night felt they needed to explain to us that seeing a movie in a theater is the only way to really watch a movie.

fuck you, Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences.

maybe when you can convince theater owners to not charge half the price of a DVD while allowing any rude asshole into the theater with their cell phones and their loud, obnoxious conversations and all of the dawdling teens, then maybe i'll think about going to the movies. in the meantime, i'll watch from the comfort of my home, where rude people aren't allowed entry, where i don't get overcharged for the food, and where i can pause the movie when i have to take a piss.

movie of the day: Nine Lives (2005)

2006-03-05T01:31:00.000-05:00

the problem with watching a movie composed of vignettes, like Rodrigo Garcia's Nine Lives, is that often times, it is a series of short films linked only by a title or by the characters that are a part of the film. they believe that if they have the charcters from the vignettes interact, they will somehow unify the film, however, often times they just make a mess.

characters jumping to and from vignettes is a technique that Garcia emplys here, but it is not in place of some underlying thematic unity, but instead enhances it. take for example the vignette of Samantha, whose father suffers from a debilitating disease and whose mother, Ruth, has become exhausted by a life of taking care of Samantha's ailing father. Samantha's story is that she is the only thing her parents have left in common--they even talk through her, as one is always asking her what the other has said. later, Garcia gives Ruth her own story, but it never seems like Garcia feels obligated to do this--merely that there is something about Ruth's story that is worth telling.

and so it goes with Nine Lives. i was leery of the film at first for the reasons mentioned above. Garcia can be abrupt with his "endings" and cuts off where he feels that the life of the woman he is showing has shown what is needed. (this can be quite disconcerting and is perhaps a deliberate action on Garcia's part.) but thematically, i think the stories of these nine women come together nicely. Garcia realizes that if the film is thematically unified, it really isn't necessary to resort to rhetorical tricks to make us think a group of short films should really be together. His puzzle doesn't need to have nicely fitting pieces, even though most people probably wish that it would.

then again, that's how films that challenge us show that they are successful. and Nine Lives is no different. Four Stars (out of Five)

Oscar Prediction: Best Picture

2006-03-04T11:53:00.000-05:00

Finally! the last of my Oscar predictions for 2006. Best Picture. the nominees are:

Brokeback Mountain
Capote
Crash
Good Night, and Good Luck
Munich

In my mind, this one comes down to two movies--Brokeback Mountain and Crash. Both are morals tales of sorts, with Brokeback Mountain focusing on homosexuality and Crash on racism. So I guess the question for the Academy voters is, which tale do you want to reward. I thought Crash was probably the best movie of the year--it affected me more than any other film i had seen. but Brokeback is a more beautiful film, more beautifully rendered. Plus, it is rare that the Best Director and Best Picture don't go hand in hand. So I am going to predict Brokeback Mountain for Best Picture of the year.

it's like Christmas around here

2006-03-04T11:44:00.000-05:00

we are big fans of the NCAA basketball tournament in cream of broccoli land, so i would be remiss if i didn't congratulate the University of Pennsylvania Quakers for getting the Ivy League automatic bid to the field of 65.

12 days until opening tip...

essential record of the day: The Byrds--Sweetheart of the Rodeo (1968)

2006-03-04T11:01:00.000-05:00

imagine you're a rock act in 1968 and that your most successful record is three years past. one of your most prolific writers has quit because of a fear of flying, and you've had to fire one of your other members for being an asshole. to add insult to injury, your drummer just quit and it's been downhill since that first record. so how do you turn it around?

you don't record a country record, that's for sure.

and yet, in 1968, that's precisely what the Byrds did. to replace David Crosby (the previously mentioned asshole) Roger McGuinn and Chris Hillman hired a mostly unknown Gram Parsons to take Crosby's place. After convincing Hillman that recording a country album was a good idea, they got McGuinn to sign off on it and came up with Sweetheart of the Rodeo.

and it was a flop.

the funny thing about records that flop is that they are often the best records out there. Sweetheart of the Rodeo is one of the best records ever made, period. i would list off the standout tracks, but every track is stand out. Parsons, who spearheaded most of the song selections for the record chose nine great country standards, and then added two of his own for good measure. McGuinn and Hillman added their own signature, to make the record sound like every other Byrds record, just with a country-western feel.

at the time, pop music buyers probably thought that the Byrds had gone off the deep end. in an age of protest songs and psychedelia, a country music record was something that Johnny Cash did, not the Byrds. but can you imagine the balls it must have taken to record this record? almost forty years later, the Byrds have been validated for their gutsy move. Sweetheart of the Rodeo is critically acclaimed and considered a work of genius.

unfortunately, this record pretty much marked the end of the band. Parsons was fired because he wouldn't perform in South Africa due to their policy of apartheid. Hillman went with Parsons to form the Flying Burrito Brothers, and McGuinn was left to his own devices, and he basically ran the band into the ground. but they were able to get Sweetheart of the Rodeo out before it all fell apart and this record is probably the best one they ever made. Grade: A+

Oscar Prediction: Best Director

2006-03-04T10:37:00.000-05:00

two days until the Oscars and two more predictions to make.

nominees for Best Director:

Ang Lee-Brokeback Mountain
Bennett Miller-Capote
Paul Haggis-Crash
George Clooney-Good Night, and Good Luck
Stephen Spielberg-Munich

my prediction: Ang Lee for Brokeback Mountain. the Best Director usually goes hand in hand with the Best Picture award, but this year, that might not be the case. I think this year the Best Director award might fall victim to the Sean Penn syndrome--that is, a director/actor makes a work that is good enough for Oscar consideration but is actually rewarded for a body of achievement. since Bennett Miller and Paul Haggis don't really have much of a body of work to judge against, and Spielberg already has his Oscar, which leaves two--George Clooney and Ang Lee. if Clooney wins he is going to be rewarded for an overall body of work, as an actor, a producer and most recently a director. this is the Best Director Oscar though, and of all the nominees, Ang Lee has the biggest and most distinguished body of work. plus, Brokeback Mountain is typical of an Ang Lee film--beautifully filmed and engaging. i think this one is a no brainer.

next: Best Picture

worse than Federal "pound-me-in-the-ass" prison

2006-03-03T12:56:00.000-05:00

i don't know about the rest of you, but i'm going to guess that Gary Glitter isn't going to enjoy spending the next three years in a Vietnamese prison. i'd be willing to bet that the Vietnamese have different ideas about incarceration than their western counterparts.

just ask John McCain...

people are fucking rude

2006-03-03T12:51:00.000-05:00

you know, driving behind someone who is constantly on their cell phone is bad enough, but when did people start wandering aimlessly, chatting away in a crowded grocery story? my buddy Adam and i got stuck behind two different women, not paying attention to anything but their cell phones, blocking up whole aisles with their cart.

can't the conversation wait until you get home? jeez.

Oscar Prediction: Best Actor

2006-03-02T22:05:00.000-05:00

wow. i might actually get these done by Sunday.

the nominees for Best Actor are:

Philip Seymour Hoffman-Capote
Terrence Howard-Hustle and Flow
Heath Ledger-Brokeback Mountain
Joaquin Phoenix-Walk the Line
David Strathairn-Good Night, and Good Luck

once again, conventional wisdom says to go with Philip Seymour Hoffman. not only did he do an effective Truman Capote, but he also has a massive body of work that has yet to be recognized by the Academy. also, he has the good fortune of having played a person who actually existed, so the quality of his performance can be judge against "reality." but that may also be the downfall of his nomination, as two of his peers also were nominated for playing people who actually existed. Given that the Academy recently awarded Jamie Foxx for playing Ray Charles, the actor playing a real person vote may be split, and none of those actors may win. that's why i am picking Terrence Howard. as i said in my review of Hustle and Flow, Howard was the glue that kept the movie together. also, let's not forget that he put in a powerful performance in Crash, which is up for Best Picture. and sometimes the Academy likes to give one award for two great performances in one year. remember Jamie Foxx?

next: Best Director

hide and go seek

2006-03-02T20:57:00.000-05:00

if you saw Belle and Sebastian on Conan O' Brien last night, you saw them play "Funny Little Forg" off their new record, The Life Pursuit. But can anyone tell me why Chris Geddes was hiding behind Richard Colburn's drum kit during the first verse?

Oscar Prediction: Best Actress

2006-03-01T23:41:00.000-05:00

four more of these to go.

the nominees:

Judi Dench-Mrs. Henderson Presents
Felicity Huffman-TransAmerica
Keira Knightly-Pride and Prejudice
Charlize Theron-North Country
Reese Witherspoon-Walk the Line

Conventional wisdom says to go with Reese Witherspoon. She's Hollywood's golden girl right now and she's already won a Golden Globe for her performance as June Carter Cash. but something tells me we might see upsets in both the Best Actor and Best Actress categories. So my prediction is Felicity Huffman in TransAmerica. it takes a lot of courage for an actress to play a man, especially a transgendered man and i think that maybe the Academy will reward courage like that.

next: Best Actor

record of the day: East River Pipe--What Are You On? (2006)

2006-03-01T12:46:00.000-05:00

sex, drugs and rock n roll.

apparently, sex and drugs walk hand in hand with rock n roll. we already discussed the sex (wrong as it may be), now let's get to the drugs.

anyone who has heard an East River Pipe record knows they aren't exactly the cheeriest records in the world. F.M. Cornog, the man behind East River Pipe, has had a pretty rough life and was at one point homeless. but then he started making DIY tapes and got his name out there. eventually he was signed to Sarah Records and his name got more out there to all of the twee kids who were in love with Sarah. then when Sarah folded he moved to Merge and got even more exposure.

the funny thing about East River Pipe records is that even though they tend to be gloomy and somewhat nihilistic, they always sound upbeat. the newest East River Pipe record, What Are You On? is no different. Cornog shows a mastery of the sub three minute pop song with this record, having only three of the thirteen tracks clock in at over three minutes. the final track "Some Dreams Really Can Kill You" clocks in at an epic (for ERP) five minutes plus, and also may be the best track on the record.

Lyrically, the songs on What Are You On? resemble those of an almost preachy moral tale. after thirteen tracks about how people on drugs suck, you get the message. there are standout tracks of course ("Crystal Queen," "Druglife," and the aforementioned "Dreams") and the record as a whole is good, but railing on and on about drugs and their horrors gets a little old after a while.

we've all seen the ads. we know that drugs will fuck you up, and i think Cornog thinks that by making a record like this, he might stop that one fan from falling into it. but the world rarely works that way, and sometimes people need a crutch--but do they need someone preaching to them with a guitar, a voice and a home studio? i don't know. Grade: B+

Gary, you picked the wrong Southeast Asian Country!

2006-03-01T12:33:00.000-05:00

so it looks like everyone's favorite sick fuck, Gary Glitter could face seven years in a Vietnamese jail for committing lewd acts with two girls, ages 10 and 11. the decision is expected Friday.

Glitter maintains his innocence, but he has a rep for this kind of thing. plus, actions sometimes speak louder than words:

The girls' families wrote to the court in December, asking that charges be dropped altogether after Glitter paid US$2,000 to each of them.

Although prosecutors decided to move forward with the case anyway, under the Vietnamese legal system, the payments are considered "compensation" that counts toward lessening any sentence.
why the payout if he didn't do something wrong? and the Vietnamese government better watch out if they let the US$2000 work as compensation--they'll be innundated with child molestors from all over the world who figure they only have to pay $2000 for a shot a young underage girl.

besides, i think Gary got his Southeast Asian countries wrong after he left the UK because of his previous jail time. Didn't Neil Bush let the world know where to get the best underage Southeast Asian sex?

Oscar Prediction: Best Supporting Actor

2006-02-28T21:32:00.000-05:00

let's knock two of these out in one day.

the nominees:

George Clooney-Syriana
Matt Dillon-Crash
Paul Giamatti-Cinderella Man
Jake Gyllenhaal-Brokeback Mountain
William Hurt-A History of Violence

the thing about these Academy voters is that they're human, and like most humans, they don't take criticism well. last year, the Academy voters got a lot of backlash for not nominating Paul Giamatti for Sideways. you could even say they blew it by not nominating him for American Splendor in 2004. so this year, when it's time to make good, they nominate him for his performance in Cinderella Man.

if the Academy truly were rewarding the best performance of the year, I would say that my prediction would be Matt Dillon. but time and again, they reward actors for a body of work, and not for their most recent work. for that reason, I say Paul Giamatti gets the win.

next: Best Actress

essential record of the day: Smashing Pumpkins--Siamese Dream (1993)

2006-02-28T12:44:00.000-05:00

there's a big part of me that wants to hate this album.

Smashing Pumpkins signifies for me a lot of what was wrong with the alternative/indie scene in the 90s. Billy Corgan was a nobody when the Smashing Pumpkins released their debut record Gish in 1991. i remember getting into them because i saw the video for "Siva" on 120 Minutes and then meeting a guy who had the actual record, because it was hard to find stuff like that at Camelot Music when you are 16 and don't have a driver's license yet. and it was a cool record with some rockin' tracks, like "Rhinocerous." and what's more, it was my little secret

then came Nirvana. and all of sudden indie rock was soup de jour when it came to the new hot thing in music.

then came Virgin Records, their money and their distribution deals. Smashing Pumpkins "sold out" and released Siamese Dream. i let a friend in on my secret--"In six months time, when I come home for Christmas (it was my first year in college, and i was about to leave for Bowling Green) Smashing Pumpkins will be huge, and you will come to me and say 'you were right.'") in six months time, this friend and i had that conversation. but what i didn't realize at the time was that Billy Corgan had created one of the masterpieces of the alternative rock movement.

the interesting thing about Siamese Dream is that it follows a lot of the same conventions that shitty, hair metal bands had put out on the seemingly endless parade of craptastic records in the late 80s and early 90s. proto-metal guitar riffs and power ballads is all you have to say to describe most of the record. but unlike all of those horrible hair metal bands, Corgan somehow managed to write good proto-metal riffs (strong, but not overbearing) and interesting power ballads.

this record challenges a lot of what i believe about what is good about music. The Smashing Pumpkins made a lot of money with this record, and yet, it is probably one of the best records ever made. as is so often the case with these major label debuts, however, is that no one gave a flying fuck about Billy Corgan when he was making this record. he was just another rockstar wannabe trying to figure out how to make it. and did he ever make it. but i would credit that to the accessability of Siamese Dream as a whole. and just because a record is accessable doesn't mean it's not good. records like this one and The Bends by Radiohead are proof of that. it's just that they are so hard to come by that when they show up, you can't believe they exist, and you feel bad about agreeing with all of the average music going public because somehow that damages your cred.

but eventually you have to stop being a pompous ass and accept that there are some things that most people are going to like. so what if everyone loved the Beatles? they were really fucking good--good enough to have everyone figure it out, not just the music snobs.

and so i have to give credit where credit is due. Siamese Dream is one of the all time greats. it's the sort of record that makes you wish the band would never try to make another one, because you know there's no way they will ever top it. and perhaps had Smashing Pumpkins done that, i wouldn't feel so bad about liking this record so much today. Grade: A+

Oscar Prediction: Best Supporting Actress

2006-02-28T12:26:00.000-05:00

I have six of these posts to go and six days until the Oscars. so let's do Best Supporting Actress.

the nominees:

Amy Adams-Junebug
Catherine Keener-Capote
Frances McDormand-North Country
Rachel Weisz-The Constant Gardener
Michelle Williams-Brokeback Mountain

My prediction: Amy Adams in Junebug. I figure this award is going to come down to either Amy Adams or Rachel Weisz. both performances are the glue that hold their respective movies together. but The Constant Gardener has an excellent novel behind it, and most of the action takes place without Weisz, and you could see that maybe another talented actress could play the part. Junebug, however, would be nowhere without Amy Adams. The role of Ashley is the bright star around which all of the other characters in the movie rotate. The performance is absolutely amazing, and i echo Roger Ebert's sentiments when he says he hopes enough people have seen this film to have voted for her. It may have been the performance of the year from any actor, bar none.

Next: Best Supporting Actor

"This Charming Man" a terrorist?

2006-02-27T19:19:00.000-05:00

pitchfork media is reporting that, in an attempt to be totally fucking ridiculous, the FBI questioned Morrissey to judge whether or not he was a threat to U.S. National Security. the impetus was that Morrissey made a comment at a Dublin show where he wished that George W. Bush would die. so it was time for a fun filled investigation for him!

but Morrissey hit the head on the nail with this comment about his fun experience with the FBI and Britain's Special Branch:

"My view is that neither England or America are democratic societies," Moz summed up. "You can't really speak your mind and if you do you're investigated."

no! not in George W. Bush's America! i'm shocked!

World Baseball Classic: Shitty Idea, Poorly Timed

2006-02-27T12:45:00.000-05:00

this is C.C. Sabathia, ace pitcher for the Cleveland Indians. and right now he is scaring the crap out of me. why? because he's on the roster for the US team in the World Baseball Classic starting in March.

this has to be the worst idea in the world. why would you get a group of Major Leaguers to get involved in an international competition BEFORE the start of the season and in the middle of spring training. I am sure Sabathia and the other two Indians players in this competition (Ronnie Belliard and Francisco Cabrera, Cleveland's closer of the future) have been engaged in off-season training, but they aren't ready to play ball yet.

why would MLB be so stupid as to put these guys health on the line right before the season begins?

Oscar Prediction: Best Original Screenplay

2006-02-27T12:34:00.000-05:00

this is my favorite category. i love the original stories that are written for film, and the best movies always seem to come from this category.

the nominees:

Crash
Good Night and Good Luck
Match Point
The Squid and the Whale
Syriana

My prediction: Crash. arguably, Crash was the best film of the year. like i said when i predicted the winner for Achievement in Film Editing, when you make a movie like Crash, it's important that the interactions of the ensemble cast are not perceived as hokey by the viewer. a large part of that is on Film Editing, but most of it is on the script. and the question here is, has Paul Haggis written a story of coincidental meetings of characters that is believable? i've heard people argue that it doesn't work, but i have to disagree. the movie works because each character comes to the fray with their own built in assumptions and prejudices. their interactions are a result of those prejudices. you can thank the screenplay for that.

next: Best Supporting Actress

Oscar Prediction: Best Adapted Screenplay

2006-02-27T12:21:00.000-05:00

i'm going to hit both of the screenplay predictions in two posts, and we'll start with the Best Adapted Screenplay.

the nominees are:

Brokeback Mountain
Capote
The Constant Gardener
A History of Violence
Munich

my prediction: Brokeback Mountain. buzz does play a big part in who wins and loses in these events, and no movie on this list has more buzz than Brokeback Mountain. Even if the movie doesn't win Best Picture, the buzz generated by "the gay cowboy movie" should be enough to catapult this screenplay to the win. having Larry McMurtry as one of the screenwriters doesn't hurt either.

next: Best Original Screenplay

the power of Oprah

2006-02-26T18:50:00.000-05:00

i don't understand the big deal about James Frey making shit up for his memoir A Million Easy Pieces and his getting dropped by his publisher for it.

anyone who thinks that any memoir is or has to be "the truth" doesn't understand the nature of story-telling or writing for that matter. does anyone here think that the parts of Bill Clinton's memoir dealing with Monica Lewinsky are the way Monica remembers them? a liberal? a conservative?

the point is, a book doesn't have to be true to be true. If anyone has ever read The Things They Carried by Tim O' Brien knows this. If the story is good enough for you to ask, "is that true?" then it is, even if the events never happened.

it's obvious that Frey knows how to write. otherwise, no one would read him. you would think his publishers would realize this, but by dropping him, they've shown that they are daft as Oprah and the American reading public as a whole.

Oscar Prediction: Cinematography

2006-02-26T18:20:00.000-05:00

the next prediction: Achievement in Cinematography.

the nominees are:

Batman Begins
Brokeback Mountain
Good Night and Good Luck
Memoirs of a Geisha
The New World

i think cinematography may be the most underrated part of the filmmaking process. a major portion of watching a film is the fact that it is a visual medium. what we see with our eyes makes all of the difference when we watch a film. what makes a feature length film different from your home movies are things you never think about when filming--film stock, lighting, angles and lenses. to me, Achievement in Cinematography should reward a film that is visually stunning.

that's why i am happy that the Academy nominated Batman Begins. it was one of my favorite films of the year, and it was visually stunning. so much of the Batman mythos depends on the mood generated by the film. that said, however, my prediction is Brokeback Mountain.

When you see an Ang Lee film, you know you've seen it. Lee's work is always visually stunning. Brokeback Mountain is no different. The Wyoming landscape is almost a character of the film itself, and you understand why this beautiful place is so special to Ennis Del Mar and Jack Twist. if the cinematography wasn't this good, Brokeback Mountain would just be another place.

next: Best Adapted Screenplay

Don Knotts (1924-2006)

2006-02-26T13:42:00.000-05:00

and what can be said about Don Knotts that hasn't been said before? he died Friday night of pulmonary and respiratory complications on Friday night.

The man was an absolute giant. he was quite possibly one of the funniest comedians that has ever graced a television screen and was one of the staples of early television. His role as Deputy Barney Fife is one of the classic all time television characters. the role would not have been so memorable had Knotts not played the role. he also had an underrated stint on Three's Company as Ralph Ferley, a role that i would say helped keep the show afloat after the Norman Fell and Audra Lindley left the show for a spin-off. He was a great character on a mediocre show.

Don Knotts will truly be missed by all that enjoyed the humor he brought to the world.

Darren McGavin (1922-2006)

2006-02-26T13:36:00.000-05:00

Usually i save the celebrity deaths for a catch all post, but there were two deaths over the weekend that are so huge i thought i'd give them their own posts.

First we have Darren McGavin, probably most well know for his part as Ralphie Parker's dad in A Christmas Story. according to cnn.com, he died Saturday of natural causes.

McGavin was one of the most memorable characters from A Christmas Story, and it's hard to believe the film would have been as great without him.

and then, there's an even bigger shocker...

Oscar Prediction: Film Editing

2006-02-26T13:19:00.000-05:00

the Oscars are one week from tonight and i have more than 7 predictions to make. so let's get cracking!

the nominees for Achievement in Film Editing are:

Cinderella Man
The Constant Gardener
Crash
Munich
Walk the Line

the thing about editing a film is that, since most films are filmed out of sequence, the editor becomes an essential member of the production crew. an achievement in film editing should be defined by the crispness of the edit, and the effectiveness of the sequencing. thus a film like The Constant Gardener, which is told in flashbacks and a film like Crash, which relies on the interplay of the ensemble cast would not be effective if the editing were not so good. I would say The Constant Gardener and Crash have to be the favorites, and my prediction is Crash.

Crash was possibly the best film made last year, and part of its effectiveness is how Paul Haggis' script jumps from interconnecting story to interconnecting story. it's difficult to do a movie like this without making it seem hokey. one of the things you have to get your viewer to buy is that the convenient coincidences in the film are believable. i think Haggis accomplishes that here, and as a result, Crash will probably win.

next up: Achievement in Cinematography

comments fixed

2006-02-26T13:17:00.000-05:00

Ed from Chasing Infinity pointed out that my comments were set so that only blogger members could comment. i've fixed that. so feel free to comment away and tell me how full of shit you think i am.

record of the day--Cat Power: The Greatest (2006)

2006-02-26T10:27:00.000-05:00

having been a Cat Power fan for the last ten years, i've come to believe that there are two Chan Marshalls. one is an absolute train wreck, impossible to watch and a no talented hack. and then there's the other Chan Marshall--the one that manages to pull her shit together and release a fairly decent record every few years. in the 90s she was really great at doing this, her records What Would the Community Think? and Moon Pix are indie rock classics--the stuff recently merely decent (apart from The Covers Record misfire.)

and now Chan Marshall has brought us her latest Cat Power opus The Greatest. once again, Chan has decided to surround herself with a group of really talented musicians (this time around it was Memphis soul musicians, in the past it's been Dirty Three and Steve Shelley, among others) and once again, Chan has set herself up for heaping helpings of critical acclaim. as Ed from Chasing Infinity says, "Norah Jones wishes she could make a record like this."

but what might be great for Norah Jones is becoming pedestrian for Chan Marshall. The Greatest is just more evidence of the fact that there are two Chan Marshalls. the Chan Marshall in the studio plays it safe. she has the credibility to surround herself with marvellous musicians, but she doesn't seem to take very many chances anymore. i don't know if it is because she caught so much shit for The Covers Record or what, but the wiser, older, has-her-shit-together Chan doesn't like to take chances. unfortunately, you need to have a train wreck streak in you to take the sorts of chances Chan took on her early records, and when she gets in the studio these days, she seems to put that all aside, and as a result the records suffer slightly. don't get me wrong--The Greatest has true stand out tracks, like "Living Proof", "Love and Communication" and the title track--but when push comes to shove the record is just a little too boring to be a good Cat Power record.

In the end, she's going to need to embrace that inner train wreck when she's in the studio--right now she's a little too much like mild-mannered Bruce Banner, afraid to let the Incredible Hulk out for fear of the damage that may be done. unfortunately, it's train wreck that put her on the map. Grade: B

has been doo-wop artists pissed that imposters take their name

2006-02-25T08:54:00.000-05:00

there's an article up on cnn.com about how the Pennsylvania legislature passed a bill that will place an injunction on anyone impersonating a 50s or 60s doo-wop band, with civil penalties against the band and promoters of up to $15000.

see, the survivors of those bands lose their meal ticket when those impersonators show up claiming to be someone they aren't. the problem is, when i say survivors, i mean survivors. The Drifters and Coasters only have one surviving member each. and they are older than dirt. (Carl Gardner of the Coasters is 77, Bill Pinkney of the Drifters is 80.)

when only one member of a band plays somewhere, they aren't a band--they're a solo act. and when they are that old, imposter or not, they're going to suck.

i gotta wait until 2007?

2006-02-24T21:46:00.000-05:00

so it looks like the first salvo in the Superman Returns v. Spider-Man 3 war has been fired...

happy birthday Admiral Adama!

2006-02-24T21:15:00.000-05:00

happy 59th birthday to Edward James Olmos, who plays Admiral Adama on my favorite TV show, Battlestar Galactica.

if you aren't watching this show, you definitely want to check it out.

essential movie of the day--Groundhog Day (1993)

2006-02-24T12:33:00.000-05:00

I found out this past Groundhog Day that my wife had never seen the Bill Murray comedy Groundhog Day and immediately set about rectifying it. so i got her to drop Groundhog Day in her Netflix queue and last night we watched it. now i've seen Groundhog Day probably 20 or 30 times, since it always seems to be on TV, but i don't know how critically i have ever looked at it, because i never had an outlet or reason for writing down my thoughts about the movie before (thank you blogosphere) and because i have always been a huge Bill Murray fan, and love to watch his movies.

the first thing i wondered was that if Murray were offered a role like Phil Connors in Groundhog Day today, would he take it? i've been a real fan of his recent work, especially the stuff he did with Wes Anderson, Broken Flowers and of course, Lost in Translation (he got hosed for Best Actor that year.) i suppose that given his longtime friendship with director Harold Ramis he probably would have, but after watching Groundhog Day, i realized that the role of Phil Connors isn't much different than those that Murray has been playing lately--in fact it may be a blueprint for those roles of a comedian struggling to be taken seriously as an actor.

for those who haven't seen Groundhog Day, Phil Connors is a miserable bastard. he hates his job, and hates his life, creating a superiority complex for himself as a front for the disappointment he believes his life really has become. as part of being the weatherman at a small-market TV station in Pittsburgh, he has to trek annually to Punxsatawny, PA to watch Punxsatawny Phil come out and look for his shadow. as self absorbed as Phil is, he has no time to appreciate the small town charm of a place like Punxsatawny--he simply wants to finish his job and get out of town. and then a funny thing happens to Phil--a blizzard hits and he finds himself stuck in Punxsatawny, and what's worse, he finds himself reliving Groundhog Day ad infinitum.

i think when Groundhog Day came out, a lot of people didn't think of it as much more than a Bill Murray star vehicle, and may have dismissed it as a light comedy for a comedian who was known for making these sorts of movies. this, of course, dismisses the greater depth of the film totally. Harold ramis and screenwriter Danny Rubin masterfully craft the story of a self loathing man who is being forced by fate or the hand of God or what have you to relive the same day over and over again. what's more, in Murray they have found the perfect actor to play the part.

Certain elements of Murray's performance are indicative of his recent work--he was lauded for dialing down his performance in Lost in Translation, but i never heard any such accolades for his performance here. Murray only allows his character to go crazy when it makes sense to do so, such as when he realizes that none of the actions he takes on Groundhog Day will have any ramifications for tomorrow, because there is no tomorrow. but other than these obvious moments for physical comedy, Murray's performance is one that you would expect from someone if they had to live the same day over and over again--confusion, then excitement, then boredom, depression and despair and finally acceptance.

it is only when Phil accepts his fate that we learn the lesson of this film--that every day is a gift and that we should live life to the fullest. when Phil realizes that he can remember things from repeated day to repeated day, he at first uses the power for evil (he finds out information about an attractive woman and then uses it to sleep with her) but once he gets past the initial reaction of a self-loathing man to having to live the same day over and over again, he uses the gift he has been granted to improve himself--he learns how to play piano and to ice sculpt and he tries to be nice to other people and make their lives as worthwhile as he has found his own to be, stuck in Punxsatawny, PA.

if we could all get such a gift. Five Stars (out of Five)

Oscar Prediction: Best Animated Feature

2006-02-24T12:18:00.000-05:00

we're only 9 days from the Oscar ceremony, so here's another predicition for Best Animated Feature.
there are three nominees:

Howl's Moving Castle
Tim Burton's Corpse Bride
Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit

as i intimated in my review of Corpse Bride, my prediction is Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit. all three films are from some of the most accomplished animators in the world, but I have a feeling that Miyazaki's film may not get the love because it is essentially a foriegn film. that leaves two very similar feeling films in Corpse Bride and Wallace and Gromit. both are stop motion animation, but for many of the same reasons i gave two days ago, I have to give the edge to Wallace and Gromit. Corpse Bride struck me too much as a film attempting to find an identity, a problem that The Curse of the Were-Rabbit just didn't have.

up next: Achievement in Film Editing

got my kid his first Legos

2006-02-24T06:54:00.000-05:00

see that cute little plane to the left? it's actually a Lego product. that figure is actually sitting on an inch wide Lego connector, which also happens to be the only connector in the set. we got it free because when my kid shits, we get points to redeem with Pampers. so as long as he keeps shitting he can get more cute Lego toys.

one great thing about having a kid...it gives you an excuse to play with toys again.

late night infomercials are out of control

2006-02-24T06:42:00.000-05:00

after i was awoken by "nature's alarm clock" this morning (namely, a grunting 11 week old) so i got to sample some of the fine infomercial offerings on cable television this morning. now i've seen the girls gone wild and magic bullet infomercials before, but what's the deal with the one where the bad John Waters impersonator talks about the relative size of his bowel movements compared to those of his children? how exactly is that supposed to make me want to buy anything?

well, at least he put it in writing...

2006-02-23T19:11:00.000-05:00

my buddy Dan pointed out this fucked up marriage contract on thesmokinggun.com where a 33 year old man from Iowa named Scott Frey had some specific demands on his wife. instead of signing the contract, she gave it to the cops, and now he's in jail.

the sad part is that none of this shocks me anymore. there's a lot of sick fucks in this world.

essential record of the day: Television Personalities--And Don't the Kids Just Love It (1980)

2006-02-23T12:45:00.000-05:00

Could you imagine what it must have been like to be Dan Treacy in 1978?

Treacy, the progenitor of the Television Personalities at the height of the punk movement in late 70s Britain. among his peers were bands considered to be classic examples of the genre--Wire, the Clash, the Buzzcocks and the Sex Pistols. and Dan loved them. but he didn't understand why the punks had foresaken their history. the punks turned their back on the 60s mod and psychedelic bands that had paved the way for them--the Creation, and early Pink Floyd among others and poor Dan just didn't understand it. those bands were just as good and should be remembered always.

i think that it was the punk rebellion against rock history that lead Dan Treacy to create the Television Personalities. with the early singles, Treacy managed to amalgamate the punk asthetic with the music of days past and create a sort of proto-punk pop sound that no one has every really come close to approximating.

now, on the eve of the first new record from Television Personalities in ten years, we can look back at Treacy's history and see that he had problems approximating it himself. but in 1980, just a few years into the process, Treacy, and by extension Television Personalies, released their best collection of this fusion of punk and 60s pop, And Don't the Kids Just Love It.

some of the songs on And Don't the Kids Just Love It are essential Television Personalities--"I Know Where Syd Barrett Lives," "La Grand Illusion" and "A Picture of Dorian Gray" are essential listening for the TVPs adept. but the thing that makes And Don't the Kids Just Love It stand out from later TVPs releases is that every song is pretty much a TVPs classic. songs like "Geoffrey Ingram," "The World of Pauline Lewis" and "Look Back in Anger" are as good as anything that has ever appeared on a TVPs "Greatest Hits" collection (for what that's worth.)

i would argue that apart from a few releases from Treacy's peers--the Clash's London Burning and Wire's Pink Flag and Chairs Missing--And Don't the Kids Just Love It might be the best record to come out of the late 70s/early 80s British punk scene. but its more than a punk record, and that's why it is so damned good. Grade: A

the greatest invention ever?

2006-02-23T12:36:00.000-05:00

today i'd like to thank whoever it was that invented the modern pacifier. being the father of a 11 week old, i don't know how we'd live without it. whenever my son decides that maybe he doesn't want to be asleep at 2 in the morning, a quick placement of the pacifier in his mouth placates him and buys his exhausted parents a few more hours of treasured sleep.

so let's hear it for the pacifier--perhaps the greatest device ever invented.

on second thought, maybe it's the second greatest...

Oscar Prediction: Best Documentary Feature

2006-02-23T12:19:00.000-05:00

i think i've almost caught up with these Oscar predictions (although i'll almost certainly fall behind this weekend) so let's keep them coming.

the nominees for Best Documentary Feature:

Darwin's Nightmare
Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room
March of the Penguins
Murderball
Street Fight

my prediction: March of the Penguins. of the five nominees, three of them managed to generate some modicum of buzz--Enron, March and Murderball. but March of the Penguins managed to generate so much buzz that it has almost become ubiquitous since its release--so ubiquitous that when i went to my mom's this past weekend i noticed a stuffed penguin with a baby penguin between its feet (much like the picture above.) she wouldn't have had such a thing before March made its debut. it is rare that a documentary, which is probably the most ignored film genre by the American movie-going public, can manage to draw moviegoers to the theater when most people are avoiding it like the plague. that alone will get March of the Penguins the award.

next: Best Animated Feature

Olympic hockey highlights what is wrong with the pro game

2006-02-22T23:16:00.000-05:00

one thing you are going to learn about me--i love ice hockey. i consider it to be the greatest sport ever created, and even though i claimed i would never watch another NHL game after the strike, i found myself watching Red Wings games on NBC once they came back on.

anyway, once again we've had some Olympic hockey and what seems to be a pattern, the North Americans had a very bad showing, much like the did in Nagano in 1998. and even though the U.S. and the Canadians showed up in Salt Lake City in 2002, i think that this year's games show the real deficiencies in the North American pro game.

Olympic events, unlike NHL games are governed by IIHF rules, which call for a larger ice surface. i think they also call for less acceptance of some of the thuggery you see in NHL games--roughing, boarding, checking from behind. and while today's NHL features many great European players, the majority of the pros are North American and they've learned that on a smaller ice surface it's easier to just hit someone than to actually play the game as it was intended.

so is it any wonder that fans are bored with the NHL product? there's little scoring and not much skill, something that was apparent watching the North Americans in the Olympics.

here's to hoping they both get their shit together by the Vancouver games in 2010--and that Chris Chelios has retired by then so the USOC doesn't feel the need to name him to the team. (C'mon Cheli...it's time to hang it up.)

Monty Python's Personal Best

2006-02-22T12:50:00.000-05:00

something you are definitely going to want to check out tonight is PBS's Monty Python's Personal Best, which features the different members of Python choosing their favorite sketches and reminiscing about the series. it's part of a kickoff over the next three weeks for PBS regaining the rights to broadcast Python in the States. given the current state of sketch comedy in the US (ie. it blows) you may as well stick with the good stuff.

(in Cleveland you can see it on WVIZ Channel 25 at 9pm. Also on Kent's WEAO Channel 45/49 at the same time.)

movie of the day: Corpse Bride (2005)

2006-02-22T12:22:00.000-05:00

speaking of Oscar nominated films, i finally managed to sit down and watch Tim Burton's Corpse Bride last night, even though i got it from Netflix last week. i wanted to watch it since i knew it was going up against Wallace and Gromit: Curse of the Were-Rabbit (a film i absolutely loved) for the Best Animated Feature Oscar. we'll get to my prediction later, but let me just say now that Wallace and Gromit have little to worry about.

Corpse Bride is like all Tim Burton films--beautifully filmed and visually stunning. i was immediately drawn to the stylistic design of the puppets and their movements. i have seen Roger Ebert lament the lost art of stop-motion animation on his web site, and it is obvious that Tim Burton is a big believer in the stop motion process, even when it may be more convenient to do such things on a computer nowadays.

the problem with Burton's recent work, however, is that he makes it look good, but it just doesn't feel good. The Legend of Sleepy Hollow and Planet of the Apes looked great, but were an absolute travesty to watch. i won't go that far with Corpse Bride--it's watchable. the problem is, it wants to be a children's movie in the worst way...but the subject matter and the mannerisms of the characters are simply too horrific for children. at the core of the story is a brutal murder, and that's just not something you take the little ones to for a good time. all of the musical numbers and oddly shaped puppets in the world are going to make a difference when it comes to that.

it's interesting that Corpse Bride and Wallace and Gromit are up for the same award this year, because they parallel each other in so many ways. but the difference is that while Corpse Bride pretends to be a children's story, Wallace and Gromit is great for the whole family. i think Burton could have come up with a story that was equally engaging and charming as Curse of the Were-Rabbit, but then he let his own morbidity get in the way, and the end result isn't nearly as charming as Burton thinks it is. Three Stars (out of Five)

Oscar Prediction: Best Music (Song)

2006-02-22T12:10:00.000-05:00

i think i am one post behind where i want to be on these Oscar predictions, so let's knock one out right here.

there are three nominees for Best Song:

"In the Deep" from Crash
"It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp" from Hustle and Flow
"Travelin' Thru" from TransAmerica

my prediction is "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp" from Hustle and Flow. as i said when i reviewed the movie a few weeks back, Terrence Dashon Howard carried the movie with his performance as the pimp turned rapper DJay. that was only partially true. one other essential element of the movie was the raps themselves. would Howard be able to convince us of DJay's aspirations if the raps he was laying down during the movie sucked? no way. part of what keeps DJay's producer involved in the project is that he believes in what DJay is coming up with. he knows that the rap is infectious and that if they can just get it heard, they will be a success. that's why i think "It's Hard Out Here For a Pimp"--the other songs in the category accentuate their films, but they are not essential to the finished product.

next up: Best Documentary Feature

why am i still awake?

2006-02-22T00:06:00.000-05:00

oh, that's right, an asshole in a cab showed up and told me he was looking for someone in 14506 UP. except i don't live at 14506 UP and the sign in front of my house which is in full view to everyone doesn't say 14506.

then again, what else should i expect from a guy who drives a car for a living? not exactly rocket science there.

fuck this, i'm going to bed.